The midlife crisis has traditionally been considered as a male privilege. But as practice shows, women are also at risk.
Age crisis – is always summing up. At this moment, any person understands that he or she does not want to continue living according to the same scenario as before. A person wants to change something – but he or she does not always understand what it is and how to do it.
The midlife crisis is a conditional concept. For some people, it passes unnoticed, for others, it is a terrible force appeared for no apparent reason. As a rule, discontent accumulates gradually, drop by drop.
Crisis: male model
For men, it is usually associated with reaching a certain career peak (or, conversely, with the understanding that the desired peaks will never be reached). As a result - apathy, depression, lack of motivation. A healthy way out of the crisis is setting new tasks and striving for new goals. The focus of attention is a simple change. A person can dramatically change the profession, remembering the youthful dream that had never been decided to fulfill. Often, people begin to appreciate more free time, socializing, hobbies, more attention is paid to children. But there is a prerequisite: a person must evaluate the results that he or she has achieved by the time of the midlife crisis, recognize achieved success and move on.
Another typical option is for those who do not have the achievements either in their careers or in their personal lives. Someone drinks and seeks respect in their drinking companions, someone becomes a home tyrant, trying to discipline children, wife, and mother-in-law: fear means respect.
The motive is always the same - seeking respect from the outside. Because a man often desperately lacks self-esteem during the midlife crisis.
Women are also summarizing the preliminary results of life. However, they often measure their success with personal and family life.
For a woman, a midlife crisis is usually associated with hormonal changes and the understanding that very soon she will no longer be able to have children.
It is at this age that women desperately want to have a child (or another child) and are ready to pay almost any price for it.
And now let's look at the modern successful woman - the one that reads these lines now. When she enters the male field, that is, in the business, she automatically complements her essence with male values, goals and evaluation criteria.
Then she is forced to experience the midlife crisis as a woman (in terms of success in her personal life and ability to have children), and as a man who measures her success with money and positions.
Such a woman receives not only a double blow to self-esteem but also completely contradictory criteria for evaluating her achievements. That is why one of the most pressing issues is how to combine a successful career with a happy family life and motherhood. It is simply torn between “smart” and “beautiful”. And growth in one area almost inevitably leads to a decrease in another.
What if you find yourself in a similar situation?
1. First, stop looking at yourself as at a two-core Terminator. Take a look at your tired eyes - they have not been getting enough sleep for a long time. Don't let perfectionism ruin your life.
2. Create a list of achievements and put there everything that you have achieved by this age. Do not neglect the compliments and do not dismiss admiring glances and words. Spend more time with those who love you, and stay away from envious people and competitors. Do not prove anything to anyone.
3. Give yourself pleasure. Everyday.
Stop seeing life as a result and feel it as a process - in all its beauty and fullness of sensations.
Ask yourself, what would I like to do if all the jobs in the world were paid in the same way? What would I choose and why? Take a break from the usual obligations - allow yourself to touch your true desires ... and find an opportunity to fulfill them.