Do you feel that everything is going around in a vicious circle? From which there is no way out ...
Do not want to listen to unfounded accusations in your address?
Look at your problems in a new way. There are many techniques that help to identify the poorly realized sides of your goals. The so-called "Cartesian questions" can be a great help.
Here you are, by the way they are very useful:
Neutralize thought viruses (when a thought like "And I can not do it again" like a worn out record)
Destroy negative beliefs
Dissolve the significance of the problem
Change the picture of the world
Add a resource to success.
Having chosen one of your specific goals, ask yourself these four questions:
1. What will happen if I do this (will I get the final result)?
2. What will not happen if I do this?
This question allows you to identify "secondary benefits". It helps you to understand the advantages of the current situation and your respective actions - the advantages that you risk losing, having reached a new result. You may have to refrain from minor joys, although you have never thought about them before (and if you did, you did not dare to admit that you appreciated them). You decide. This process only shows the possibilities of choice. Of course, such a verification of results requires honesty before yourself and a sufficient amount of free time, which is necessary for a leisurely self-examination.
3. What will happen if I do not do this (I will not achieve the intended result)?
This issue will underline the price that will have to be paid for the continuation of the previous state. On the contrary, a strong desire to go forward can become for you precisely the motivation that is necessary for making changes.
4. What will not happen if I do not do this?
This question confounds the left hemisphere. An attempt to answer it means an attempt to bypass conscious thinking and force the brain to activate other neural channels, rethinking the already known one. Such a statement of the question can help you realize those values and internal forces that you have never thought of before. Try to answer this question more intuitively than logically.
The same technique can be used when referring to past events, when it seems to you that the interlocutor makes unreasonable conclusions.
A funny example: You do not kiss me, going to work, by this you show that you do not love me anymore!
Has it ever happened that ...
... I kissed you (a), and you knew (a) that I love you?
... I did not kiss you (a), but you knew (a) that I do not love you?
... I kissed you (a), but you knew (a) that I do not love you?
... I did not kiss you (a), but did you know that I love you?